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Pages: Wondering what you think [1]
Author Topic: Wondering what you think
gettings

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Posts: 4

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2011-02-08 20-45-24

Wondering what you think Please don't get mad at me... I have always been in hetero relationships but they have not seemed to work out for me. My first boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me several times, hit me and shoved a gun in my face. My second boyfriend of 5 years hit me and cheated on me. My third serious boyfriend has been taking money from me (30K) and has admitted to "using" me. I have kissed girls before and I want to go farther... but have never found the right girl or had the right oppertunity. Can someone give me some pointers? Is it weird to ask for a mentor??? Where do I start? Where do I go? This is all so new. I am still living with my ex until Feb 1 but it's over... he isn't in my room anymore and the love is gone... I am numb. I can't ever imagine being with a man again. I love my brother and my father but I don't want another man in my life. Any advice would be great.
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stong

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Posts: 3

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2011-02-10 3-41-39-

Follow Your heart and do whatever you think is right. One person can't tell you what to feel, but possibly guide you into doing what is right for yourself.
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vickery

Member
Posts: 2

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2011-02-11 19-44-43

take time to take care of yourself for a change.
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hasty

Sr. Member
Posts: 1

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2011-02-13 3-57-15-

That sounds about right. No one wants to jump into a relationship with anyone after being through not only one, but numerous bad relationships. Too much baggage that could carry into a new relationship.
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  • Ljilyana

    Sr. Member
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    2011-02-13 4-37-46-

    Seriously smart words.
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  • holsclaw

    Newbie
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    2011-02-13 7-43-32-

    True words, as well. It's hard to let yourself open up after being in a bad relationship. Vulnerable.
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    shaff

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    Posts: 4

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    2011-02-26 23-42-36

    I think you should seriously evaluate your feelings before you decide that "hopping the fence" is an experiment you want to undertake. Switching your approach just because hetero relationships don't seem to work out for you...many people will be leery of that. I mean, five years in a relationship (twice!) is a long time. I'm not saying I doubt your frustration with it all, but maybe you just haven't found the right guy.
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    caley

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    2011-03-25 22-26-56

    I think it would be wise to look into some counseling to figure out why these patterns are repeating in your life before you look to any relationship at all, or else the patterns are likely just to repeat with women. What do you think?
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    georg

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    2011-05-25 17-04-22

    take some time to figure out why you are deciding that women are where it's at. It should be genuine attraction, not the hope that you might be safer or in a healthier relationship. After being in a long relationship you need to take some time out for yourself to get back on your feet emotionally, regroup, and then decide what you really want. Don't rush anything, it won't do you, or anyone else any good. treat yourself right, feel in your heart that you deserve true love and respect, and hopefully the right one (male or female) will one day come along. :)
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  • tennenbaum

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    2011-07-15 5-02-01-

    I guess that wouldn't hurt, it's a logical answer that may lead to helpful answers.
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  • hiller

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    2011-08-22 7-16-26-

    you're very right. women can be violent to each other as well. sexuality should not be about escaping violence.
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  • rohrbacher

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    2011-10-04 18-13-34

    Such a shame that there are people like that in this world. Violent people.
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  • marullo

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    2011-11-15 8-52-46-

    Unnecessary violence, yes...but it does make the world go 'round.
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  • maia

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    2012-01-02 11-00-36

    It's not just That I want to hop the fence. I have always been acted to women, but it wasn't like my friends or family would understand. I didn't know any bi-sexuals or lesbians. I didn't know where to find them... oddly enough since I live in the SF bay area. I think that I may have picked these men because I knew that they wouldn't be what I wanted... or the other thing that I have though of is I have always wanted a family and didn't know how that would work with a woman. I was afraid of the unknown. I am ready for a change and I want to find someone who thinks like I do... somone who doesn't just want sex, but someone who wants love and a relationship.
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    Monty

    Sexy
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    2012-03-04 16-51-14

    that is something all people strive for... seriously, take care of yourself first...make friends, get out and participate, be honest and kind to yourself...find peace within, and be patient. What you want may be just around the corner, but if you are not happy, don't go looking for it in someone else.
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  • depascale

    Full Member
    Posts: 16

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    2012-05-08 5-15-53-

    The best advice I was ever given was "You can't be happy in a relationship until you're happy with yourself". Sadly enough, it's true. As everyone is saying, just take time and get back on your feet. You don't always need a significant other to be happy, though at times it is nice. :]
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    trotta

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    2012-08-08 20-50-10

    My god, must you comment on every single person's post?
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    2012-08-19 5-59-25-

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    jiminez

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    2012-10-31 14-14-47

    lol...you don't mince words at ALL. Good stuff.
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  • sinibaldi

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    2012-11-03 13-06-18

    I'm just the limit, aren't I?
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  • loughman

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    2012-12-16 17-01-03

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  • escalona

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    Posts: 25

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    2013-02-01 4-01-46-

    I think you're straight, honestly but, whatever else you do, get some therapy before you hook up with another loser, regardless of gender. There are plenty of abusive, cheating, lying, stealing, and abusive women out there just looking to hook up with someone they can mop around for half a decade or so. If you switch teams without taking care of your own business, I can guarantee that you will find all the same sucky prospects in the lesbian dating pool.
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    thoms

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    2013-03-10 3-24-12-

    quite so
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    2013-03-23 4-32-07-

    I need to learn to proofread
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    spring

    Full Member
    Posts: 54

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    2013-04-21 23-44-29

    while i agree that she needs to take care of herself separately from picking teams, who are we to tell her she's straight, especially when she's posted again that her interest in women doesn't stem solely from poor past relationships. i mean you guys would have told me i was straight from the things i said when i was dealing with coming out. and being told that would have shoved me back in the closet for some time at least.
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  • sheela

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    2013-06-16 12-54-52

    it's only my opinion I just have a hard time believing that anyone could be in that many horrific relationships with people they weren't at least attracted to.
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  • Marylinda

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    2013-09-02 2-31-56-

    i'd venture a guess that absuive codependency is based on self esteem and not attraction
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    vonstein

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    2013-10-06 13-04-47

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