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Pages: Professional Domination. (part1) [1]
Author Topic: Professional Domination. (part1)

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2011-02-08 1-47-41-

Professional Domination. (part1) Having always been privately interested/involved in D/s as a sexual lifestyle, I thought hey, why not combine business and pleasure? Apparently, not the greatest idea. I was hired at a very lovely and clean dungeon, run by a series of day secretaries. There was male owner, but no ever saw him. I went in for my first day of work, and was introduced to a woman, I will her Sable. Now Sable was a much older (easily 50s) private Dom that rented a room at the dungeon. She proceeded to tell me that the purpose of the Domina is to, essentially, look and act as a whore would act. You are there to fulfill the masturbation of the male, and if you do not make him cum you have failed in your session. You serve him. His whims, his desires, his ideal. This, in my private relationship experience, is NOT what I have come to understand of D/s. My others have always been, when in the sub role, taking pleasure from my enjoyment. If I like spanking their ass till it's red, even if they don't particularly enjoy it physiy, they take it because I enjoy it. And in that, they find enjoyment. I have a leather/PVC fetish. I was not willing to wear revealing lingerie, because some prick wanted to see a victoria's secret model whip him with a bit of tassle. I like the look of a tightly covered woman, in corset and boots, with only head, neck, and upper chest revealed. Much like the beauty of the Geisha's kimono. (continued in next post)
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2011-02-10 5-30-55-

Professional Domination. (part2) Recently, I have considered trying pro domination again, because this first encounter with a skanky former escort soured me on what could have been a lovely experience. I never performed a single session at the dungeon. After speaking with her I turned to the secretary, said I quit, and explained that Sable was a poor example of pro-dom to lifestyle/potential employees. Yes, BDSM is a form of sensual/sexual play. But we are not hookers. We are not whores. I still believe the purpose of the sub is to take joy in the pleasure received by the Dominatrix. At least, when I sub I am happy if he is happy. And, from what he tells me of when I dom, he is happy so long as I enjoy myself. Not that either party, in both positions, doesn't take extreme pleasure in all activities. We happen to be pain sluts. I don't know. I'd still like to give pro domination at a nice dungeon a try, before I form any real opinion on something I've never experienced before. I do, however, hold that private sensual relationship play and professional hour session play are not and the same, on any level, and in fact attain seperate levels. of client and patron, the other of lover and loved. Any thoughts?
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2011-02-10 8-15-48-

Thank you! Tis good to hear an honest bit from someone, aside from an older woman. Actually, she wasn't a dom into her 50s, originally she was an escort, then when she was too old for that she took up domination. At least, this is what the desk receptionist told me. It's not so much romantacized (my take on things) but it's private and personal, (and always a part of a relationship) which is why I figured from the get go I wouldn't be able to do it professionally. Thank you for an honest opinion. There aren't enough of those these days.
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  • naoto

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    2011-02-12 0-35-52-

    Hrmm I am a switch, but as the Makevolente was saying, both of you are right. The consensus seems to be that pro doms are fantasies, and that when they are paid they are what they need to be to make their money. It's a job, like any other. Thank you for the honesty, I do appreciate it.
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    Sr. Member
    Posts: 3

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    2011-02-12 19-46-29

    I have worked as a pro domme and sub I am exclusively a sub in real life though. The only reason that I could top professionally was because I catered to the clients desires- to me, my act of topping was really bottoming to a paying client. She was totally right. You are providing a service. They pay you to be treated in a way that they want. I don't necessarily agree with her statement on masturbation. I don't think it's a necessity to a successful session, but again, it all has to do with the client's preference. If you are looking to make money and have repeat clients, you have to cater to their desires. Sometimes that will include you being 100% in control, but most of the time, clients have a specific scene or theme in mind. If you can't help them out, they will find someone who will.
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  • giebel

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    2011-02-18 2-53-02-

    I concur- lifestyler gone 'pro' I think the 'whore' analogy and making them come is a bit over the top. However, pro and lifestyle play entail different things; if you're not willing to bend, pretend, act and cater to a sub, I don't think you'll be 'successful'. There are some Dommes who do it their way and make out well, but they're uncommon. Because I'm a dominant person with my own interests, I don't fit the 'Domme model' of many subs, I won't promise to fulfill a particular fantasy. I operate on 'if our interests coincide, maybe we should play'. I get a lot of emails aking about specific fantasies, but b/c I want to do it my way, I'm sure a lot of sessions that could happen -don't. On hand, I haven't ever compromised myself. I haven't done a session I didn't want to do and I haven't done anything in a sesion that I didn't enjoy. On the other hand, I don't make a lot of money and I don't do a lot of sessions- I can't quit my day job;)
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    Sr. Member
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    2011-02-21 9-48-49-

    The Scene I concur. I've seen it a lot on my campus, actually, among the lot that tend to gravitate toward Rocky Horror. There's a certain satisfaction in knowing I keep bdsm so close to my heart (and relationships) that I could never do it professionally. I'm very glad Sable spoke with me, she set straight a lot of things the desk girl didn't. She kept running around my questions, and constantly talked about the art of bdsm. It is an art for me, but I see now how being a pro dom is more a sub acting the role to satisfy a male pretending to sub. It's a weird bit of circular thinking, but I understand. I'm rather eager to set foot into the lifestyle scene. I'm not quite sure where to start though. I suppose this is my e-mail asking about the local scene, if you happen to be in the NY area. You seem to know quite a bit about it, and have a lovely perspective on the lifestyle v. professional inquiry I made. My boyfriend bought me a lovely corset for my birthday, if only to see me wear it. I'd love to make my own, but I'm not too good at tanning leather:)
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    Posts: 14

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    2011-03-16 13-39-21

    You're in texas! I accidently clicked on your name, and lo a bit of info popped in the window. Very lovely products on your site though, I'm rather fond of the floggers.
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    2011-03-24 8-16-01-

    yes, I'm in Texas Thank you for the comments on the products. My personal site is probally more interesting. I should add that to my profile. There was a post a few days ago about a munch in NY. I'm pretty sure the title of the thread was NY munch, so you should be able to find it. MsJ
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